Let's start with the weigh-in. I have let go of another 3 pounds, bringing the total to 25 pounds gone in 13 weeks. I am ready for the next 25 now. I have not changed my plan, still consuming about 1500 calories a day and eating 5 times a day. I have noticed I have a little more spring in my step and I probably "move" more than I was. I have actually caught myself dancing around to songs with a good beat.
I have noticed that my mind, and thus my attitude, has been slowly sneaking back into that strict "diet" thinking. Last night we planned out what dinner would be, teriyaki chicken (4 ounces), 1/2 cup fried rice and Asian style vegetables(1+ cups) with a touch of Asian dressing. Perfect! My DH made dinner and when I went in to eat, I noticed the vegetable oil was out and he was basically frying the vegetables. He said that he had used less than a tablespoon of oil, then said he used less than a teaspoon. The bottom of the pan was pretty greasy. I had a melt down. Instead of just eating a little less and being thankful that he made dinner, I was angry. We got through a tense dinner and basically dropped the subject. I do have to say that the vegetables were really good and I did just eat less.
I analyzed what caused all of the distress, and it came down to two issues:
Issue 1
The night before, we went out for dinner, to a Chinese restaurant. We ordered the dinner for two. When it came, there was enough for 4 people and everything (except the soup) was FRIED. Most of the meal was heavily battered and the noodles were really greasy. I barely touched my dinner. I ate a little chicken after peeling all the batter off, a little bit of the noodles and my soup. I figured I had consumed my calorie allottment and I was still hungry. It was too late to eat anything when we got home so I toughed it out until breakfast.
I ate as normal throughout the day yesterday and was really hungry by dinnertime. I had planned on having 2 cups of vegetables (me, the person who DOES NOT like cooked vegetables) and because of the oil, I had to eat less. In the end, after a little bit of time, I did feel sated.
Issue 2
I tend to be a perfectionist. Whenever I have a project, I try to make it perfect. I always try to improve on it. I have been trying to be perfect in my eating. I don't expect others to be perfect, just myself.
I am reading a book right now called "The Clutter Diet" by Lorie Marrero. She writes about learning to be happy with "It's good enough". I need to work on this!
Does anyone else find themselves trying to be "perfect"? Does anyone have any other clues to overcome perfectionism?
One thing I do know is I need to remember, this is The Tortoise's Weigh and that SLOW and steady will win this race!
Kudos to more pounds gone!
ReplyDeleteI suspect most of us understand the dieting perfectionist mentality. Most of us have failed many times because of it. Good for you for taking time to think it over and recognize what was happening. I remember once having a near-complete meltdown because I'd "splurged" and gone over my calorie allotment for the day by 32 calories. Yep, 32 calories. Fortunately, I quickly realized that not two months before, it wouldn't have been unheard of for me to eat 3200 calories more than that in a day, so 32 calories really was a huge sign of progress. :)
Congrats on letting go of 3 pounds after the oily & fried stuff. I too have perfectionism issues when I get into losing weight mode. I'm by no means perfect but I have a routine that I set & I feel like I have to stick to that perfectly. If I don't then I feel as if the day's a wash. That is something I have to get over cause it makes me fall off the wagon and just gain more. I've learned to be easier on myself but it's always work to get back to that mind set, that's what I'm doing now. I'm preparing to enter the race:-)
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